How To Deal With Grief From Losing A Pet

More than 5 million households in Australia have a pet, yet the grief associated with losing an animal is often not properly acknowledged, and many pet owners are going through that difficult journey in silence.

While animals are accepted as being a part of the family, it’s misguided of some people to think that because it’s “just a dog” that your grief should be less substantial.

If you had been inseparable from a human friend for so many years and then they’d died, no one would be surprised if you felt an all encompassing and daunting sadness. Chances are your dog was by your side for all the major events – good and bad – and the aftermaths. Even when you didn’t want them by your side, they probably found a way to barge the door open…

It’s incomparable to a human-to-human connection, but no less affecting. Dogs burn so brightly and so fast, giving so much and expecting so little. They crave nothing but friendship and simple fulfilment. In that respect, they’re far wiser than many people. Then there’s the symbiotic dynamic of the relationship between a person and their dog. You are your dog’s general manager, chef, butler, nurse, chauffeur, tour guide, stylist, photographer. In return, they are your therapists, personal trainers, chiefs of security and self-appointed food quality testers, odd sock stock controllers, mail sorters and gardeners. You are each others best friends.

When a pet dies, you lose all these roles, all their assistance and your friend all at once. The loss can be incredibly profound, leaving a void that is difficult to fill. That’s quite a shock to the system.

Grieving for pet loss can be so strong that it makes us feel trapped in a loop of fear and sadness. In these moments, it can be difficult to find the strength and courage to move forward. Understanding that it is okay to feel these emotions is part of the process of grieving. It is important to acknowledge and honour the significance of this loss.

Below are some helpful suggestions to help you navigate through this challenging time.

Allow yourself to grieve: It’s essential to acknowledge your emotions and give yourself permission to grieve. Losing a pet is a genuine loss, and it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or even guilty. Everyone grieves differently, so allow yourself the time and space you need to process your emotions.

Express your emotions: Find healthy ways to express your emotions. You may find comfort in talking to your pet, writing in a journal, or creating art. Letting your emotions flow can be cathartic and provide a sense of release.

Seek support: Reach out to friends, family or a support group who can understand and empathise with your loss. Sharing your feelings with others who have experienced pet loss can provide solace and comfort. If you’re struggling to cope, consider speaking with a therapist who specialises in pet loss or grief counselling.

Take care of yourself: During times of grief it’s crucial to prioritize self-care. Ensure you’re getting enough rest, eating well and engaging in activities that bring you comfort and joy. Exercise, spend time in nature or practice relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing to help manage stress.

Take time before making decisions: It’s natural to feel a void after losing a pet, but try not to rush into adopting another pet immediately. Allow yourself enough time to grieve and heal before making any decisions about bringing a new pet into your life.

Create a memorial: Honoring your pet’s memory can be a healing process. Consider creating a memorial for your pet, such as a photo collage, a special garden area or even a memory box with their belongings. Writing a letter or a poem expressing your feelings can also be therapeutic.

Consider a tribute: If you feel ready, think about ways to honour your pet’s life and the joy they brought you. You could make a donation to an animal welfare organization in their name, volunteer at a local shelter or create a legacy project that aligns with their memory.

Hold a ceremony: Some type of ceremony is often helpful.  This may be a simple as saying a few words to yourself, to inviting friends over to remember your bellowed fur friend or scattering their ashes in a special place. 

Volunteer/foster/adopt: Don’t feel you have to rush in to getting another pet.  Perhaps volunteer at an animal shelter for a while to get your pet “fix” but feel good about helping others in need! You will know when the time is right to get another pet. When that time comes consider rescuing a pet from a shelter or rescue organization.  From the loss of one pet, so much happiness can be brought to another who may be sent to a shelter or who has been abandoned. Remember that you will always love the pet you lost but you have so much love in your heart to give to another!

Commision a pet portrait: A portrait of a lost loved one can help you in the grieving process in several ways. A customised portrait is a tangible reminder that someone who was important to you once existed and that their memory lives on with you… Having something that reminds us of someone we love can help us face what is ahead of us without feeling like we are forgetting or completely letting go of them. And simply it is a way to keep the loved one close to you. You can choose to put it on a dresser, hang it in your hallway, living room, or any other place you deem appropriate.

Remember, the grieving process is unique to each person, and it may take time to heal. Be patient with yourself and give yourself permission to mourn your pet’s loss. Eventually, you will be able to cherish the memories of your beloved pet while keeping them in your heart.